postr/StutterSeptember 26, 2017

just kill me now

16 points14 commentsView on Reddit →

Content

just kill me now I just had one of the worst speaking experiences of my life. I had to give a short presentation and I legitimately could not get through three sentences. i wanted to shoot myself midway through which made my blocks even worse. I feel so defeated and depressed. i am glad I didn't try to run away from giving presentations like I've always done, but it just makes me feel so much shame and embarrassment. how do you guys get over this feeling. i question whether i can ever fully accept my stutter and become more comfortable speaking. right now it just seems impossible for me. i am hoping practicing will make it easier but after today i just don't know. by the way, i am not exaggerating how poorly it went. my blocks are normally pretty bad, but holy shit. me being nervous about it must have just made it 5x worse. absolutely brutal.

Themes

Anticipation & AvoidanceCauses & VariabilityEmotional Experience

Subthemes

Feared Words & NamesAvoidance & SubstitutionHiding & ConcealmentOverthinking & MonitoringStress & Fight/FlightShame & Embarrassment

Codes (3)

public_speakinganticipationemotional_state