Anybody experiencing with voluntary/pseudo stuttering?

Anybody experiencing with voluntary/pseudo stuttering? 28 m, stutterer since 5. I can read and talk fluently when alone, but experiencing anxiety and fear of judgment when with people. Went to an SLP as young child (11 years of age), it helped me being more open but still not enough as I'm feeling very inadequate since adolescence. I didn't receive parental support regarding the stutter as my parents are both perfectionists. Long story short, i've been practicing voluntary stuttering for the past two days, and it's surprisingly hard, i can't stutter on purpose fluently and effortless. All my defense mechanisms activate and I block, making it hard to stutter which proves that blocks are just secondary behaviours because of the shame revolving. Anybody had experience with voluntary stuttering? Does it gets easier in time? It says that this desensitives you.