You already got a lot of those: "work on yourself" shit as advice. Whatever that means. This advice is usually used by commercials to make you feel bad and the solution is that book or that product you have to buy. It is really dumb advice. You don't have to be like that cocky party frat which hits the gym and goes clubbing every weekend. Anyway, I am in the same place as you are but I have another idea. Have you ever asked yourself with what kinda of person you want to be with? What should she be like? Instead of thinkg how you have to be you could ask yourself what kind of partner are you even looking for? And later: what could they be looking for? Where could I possibly meet someone like that?