Hey I'm 24 and I've been stuttering since I was 4 too. I've definitely felt the way you're feeling at different points in my life. I remember thinking that life would be so much better if I was just mute and didn't have to struggle with sound. When I was younger I used to fixate on my stutter as the source of all my problems and often thought things like "If I didnt stutter every other problem in my life would be fixed". I don't really have any advice, just wanted to say that you're not alone. In the past couple of years I've come to terms with my stutter to a point where I barely think about it. Its come from a lifestyle change and just being happier in general, going to college and being surrounded by good people. Something someone said to me once: "Be kind to yourself. Everyone has problems, yours are just a bit more visible." Something to think about? (I have mild depression that comes and goes, and when it does resurface, I can barely do anything. I realized that other people have much more serious depression, I can't imagine coping with that on a day to day basis.)