Realising that people who are worth speaking to will be more interested in what you have to say than how you say it. I realised this only recently. I know it sounds cringe and cliche but it really is true. I realised this when I was listening to a well regarded lecturer who stammered. Even when he got stuck, it didn’t impact his great delivery or lessen what he was saying. I realised after this that the truly off-putting thing about me is not that I stammer but that I come across as so completely and utterly miserable whenever I have to talk to people, so consumed by anxiety and stress that my discomfort and unhappiness makes other people feel uncomfortable speaking to me. I really have tried to not let my internal disgust with myself leak out when I am talking, I try not to apologise or look taken aback by myself or whatever, and it really seems like my conversations have gained a depth they lacked previously (because I was the one who closed myself off and terminated everything prematurely).