I could have written this. I’m 47 and I have so many regrets about how much more engaged I wanted to be in school. Instead I kept to myself and accepted a career path I was not interested in. That said, one thing that helped me was doing counseling focusing on how I used stuttering to avoid discomfort. It was quite shocking for me to realize that stuttering, even if it hurt me so much, was also a crutch to avoid putting myself out there. My life became much more purposeful since then: i broke up with my boyfriend, moved overseas, and got a a job and now a family. I could not go back to study, but in terms of interests and opportunities, I did improve a lot. Today I am part of a community focused on art, philosophy and psychology (after work) and I try to find creative ways to participate until I get comfortable enough to speak. Sometimes it’s starting with email or posts, or by reaching out to individuals and smaller groups. It’s stressful work, but better than living with regrets. Best of luck. You’re young and I hope you can turn things around.