Sorry for getting back to you so late! No offense but it sounds like you have not admitted to yourself that your stutter is mainly a mental (not physical) aliment! You say you feel like a freak, your stutter bums you out, etc. That's anxiety! These negative thoughts you feel are what make your stutter worse. I recommend you tackle that head on first and see if that helps. This book helped me tremendously if you want to give it a try: Stuttering & Anxiety Self-Cures: What 100+ PWS Taught Me 2nd Edition> I believe the Arthur will also coach you for free whether you buy the book or not. Best of luck fellow PWS!