Congrats for stepping up to the mic - that's a very tough hurdle. Just a thought - if there is a ToastMasters club nearby (you can search for it online), they would likely welcome you to an upcoming meeting to give you practice for your first speech and supportive feedback. This may help with the anticipatory anxiety. If there isn't a meeting scheduled soon, you could contact the club President and ask if a club member would be willing to listen over the phone, video chat, in person, etc - I'm no longer a member of TM (I was part of an employer club and I switched employers) but I found the club and its members so helpful and supportive. Best of luck!