I'm not gonna sit here and give you some cookie cutter motivational speech, because I know where you're coming from. I still struggle to accept the reality of my speech. Sometimes I wake up hopeful that my speech will somehow be better that day, but ultimately that will probably never be the case. My stutter doesn't sound as severe as yours, but I understand the yearning for it to just go away. However, understand that your speech doesn't define you. Just like someone being in a wheel chair doesn't define them as a person. I recently had a panel interview, and from my point of view it went fucking terrible. I probably sounded like an idiot in front of those four people, because I couldn't really say what I wanted to say in the way that I wanted to say it. It was disheartening and it defeated me, but guess what? If I get another panel interview somewhere down the line , I'm going to do it again, and again, and again. The grind to push and live life despite your inability to be fluent never stops. Our life is never going to be as easy as someone who communicates effortlessly, but that's okay because it presents an opportunity to callous yourself and be better tomorrow. Life is temporary, so just live it as best you can.