Thank you for posting this. I can relate in regards to the conflict between stuttering and drug use. I found in college that drinking heavily reduced my stutter to be nearly non-existent. In my adult years, I wanted to play Dungeons and Dragons but didn't want to stammer incessantly in front of other people, so I habitually drank 5-6 shots before games. I learned to hide most outward signs that I was drunk. It felt so empowering, being able to narrate my own worlds and storylines for people who could get immersed in them, as if I were a grand storyteller and not a stutterer. It felt manageable for over a year and a half, until I started losing interest in some of the games I had joined. Now I have commitments to my friends and dont want to leave those games, but I'm sick of spending several hours at the end of a long day sobering up, nursing hangovers, and dealing with the dry eye problems I've started to develop. So I told people tonight at one of my games what I'd been doing, that I was actually a stutterer and was almost always drunk at our games. They were supportive of course but didn't necessarily understand. I dont know where this will go, as my first time DMing sober would be in a couple days and I'm expecting to stutter quite a bit. But what's there to lose anymore? People out there with worse stutters than me legit think they're human garbage, and I'm not setting any inspiring examples by hiding my own stutter behind 6 shots of vodka. I hope I can be brave enough without booze in a couple days to actually go that game and DM not drunk.