tired

tired hi uhhh this is a bit of a rant but i am **tired**. im 24. had a moderate/severe stutter with blocks all my life. jobs aren't calling me back and the jobs that do don't want me once they hear me. my options are SO limited because I won't be able to be hired in sales, retail management, or anything to just "wait" until these positions call me back because they'll never take me (ive tried last week and recruiters said I wouldn't be a good fit!!!) **triggering point:** i have a masters in public health from a high ranking school, two certificates in research design, and a pretty robust public sector resume, and while a job i applied to last week LOVED my resume, LOVED my cover letter, LOVED my letters of references to the point of securing an interview.....to work as a policy researcher and writer....a REMOTE job.....she cut my interview short because I blocked in my words? *are* *you* *kidding* *me* her, setting up the interview for 30 minutes cutting it off within 5: *"omg im so sorry i have something to do" \*ends the call quickly\** ~~LOL! thanks! i love my disability !!!! i love that not only it affects my SOCIAL life, it affects my ROMANTIC and my FINANCIAL LIFE TOO?!!! but I'm not eligible for disability????? LOL! haha! so funny!!1 i want to send her a strongly worded email that is very very mean!!!~~ I've pushed myself through school, legislative conferences, public speaking events, GRADUATE SCHOOL...and this is what I get? this has happened before where employers will cut interviews off shortly or mention it during undergrad. this stutter isn't cognitive? i even mention it during interviews. if anything my brain works TOO fast and my stutter is gone when I'm inebriated. i ***hate*** people. i'm treated like a second class citizen, people laugh at work when I talk, people don't respect me despite me having way more education and mental fortitude than they will ever have, people mock the basic concept of empathy.....oh my god. people think I'm autistic and while I respect people who are (duh), I'm not nor was I ever diagnosed. the lack of social cues comes from being alienated from society, family, and friends for all these years. **Now,** there's the obvious advice of *"don't give up! why would you want to work for them anyway"* (idc about them i just need a J O B) and *"keep your head up champ!"* and my favorite *"see a speech therapist!"*. I've tried all of that. What's next? Heck, if I try to go back to school and get a different degree, I'll suffer the same because I said the same thing in my undergrad. Many of these jobs are literally office jobs where the bulk of the work is thinking and creating deliverables. **The economy is far too volatile and underpaying for this to be happening to me. I'm so tired. If I can't get a job that pays the bills, despite education and experience, then what?** One of the organizations I worked for even invited someone with far less experience than me to speak at a conference; I spoke at a panel (my mentor brings me out of pity I think and I love her for that dearly) and people just didn't really care to hear what I had to say. **To any parents reading this:** please encourage your children and support them as much as you can and then some. Please encourage them to get a job in something that is within the framework of society first because despite the U.S.A having an entire botched pandemic response and the citizens suffering the backlash *(which we will for the next 2 generations while our lovely shareholders make up "lost" profits and exacerbate the existing problems here!!!)* public health wasn't deemed as important as it was less than two years ago??!!! insane. thanks for reading i hope this provided insight in the plights of some people with stutters!!! empathy is free and pls be kind xx