You sound like me when I was in Highschool. If I had the balls to do it, I would have taken my own life. Glad I didn’t because life did get better and now I’m married and things are pretty chill. I still stutter. You’re probably tired of hearing this but, man the secret is to just give up on trying to fit in and be like everyone else. Accept the fact that you stutter. You have more to offer than your ability to speak. Once you stop letting your stutter be your entire identity you can start living.