I'm 17 too, and I'm in year 12 (I'm from England, and so i think that's junior year in the US) and so I think we've probably had similar experiences up to now. I'm sorry you had a bad experience with the presentation, it's difficult to stomach the humiliating effects of a lack of control. I've been lucky enough to avoid presentations during secondary school, as my parents got in touch with my teachers about my stammer, and so I wasn't called on to speak in class. This is something I've continued, but I'm beginning to realise that it isn't practical to sustain this. I've recently been contributing to class discussion a little more, and I've had some really tough moments. I'm lucky to have considerate teachers who would understand if I didn't want to contribute to a presentation, and equally considerate classmates, who (hopefully) wouldn't react in the way you described (there are always implicit reactions, which i'm sure you're familar with too). Perhaps it would be worth having a chat with your teachers about accommodating your stammer, if you haven't already. It could give you a little more autonomy over when you're comfortable to speak. However, this approach is limited too. There's this really extensive stammer guilt complex, where not speaking and shutting down is sometimes worse than speaking and struggling through your stammer. I've been dealing with this for a little while now. I guess this feeds into your wider feelings about the hopelessness a stammering life seems to pose. I've been grappling with this too; and, honestly, I'm at a loss at how to fix it. There are lots of narratives about overcoming your stammer or learning to be comfortable with it. I can't seem to buy into these. I recently read a book by the journalist John Hendrickson ('Life on delay: making peace with a stutter). His writing is magnetic, I read the entire thing in one sitting. He gives a voice to all the pain and the heartache, and manages to fill the book with infinite beauty. It's remarkable. It's not a call to 'overcome' or power through anything. It's a kind of ode to life. I read it yesterday, and so I'm still mulling over it. Part of the anxiety you mentioned in the post, I felt after finishing the book. Yes, it was great to find a writer who could beautifully express so many of the feelings we share as stammerers; but as a teenager, I seem to be at the eve of so much of the struggle he describes. Hendrickson seems to harmonise this anxiety with the demonstration of lives lived despite it (or with it?) I just wanted to send over a message to let you know that you aren't alone in how you feel about this unchangeable part of you (and please do consider reading the book). I'm sorry for the long message. I hope it helped in some way, and I'd be more than happy to keep in touch.