It's obviously bothering you a lot. If I may be so bold... What else are you carrying around? Other than your speech, are there other burdens you carry? Things you have bottled or buried. Shames or self-recriminations? i.e. Things that might be feeding your anxiety. IF you have other things feeding your anxiety, it may be time to address them. I could be *way* off base though. Is so, then back to your fluency. Wy do you think it bothered you so much that your speech therapist asked you to self assess? Did you tell her it bothered you? I have, unfortunately, a wealth of experience with doctors. You have to be really honest with your speech therapist. If you're withholding, it's going to impede the process. She's an expert. But if you don't give her everything, you're limiting her ability to help you. A lot of us stutterers get in the habit of concealing. We close ourselves off after so many negative interactions. IMO, it's a form of lying. We lie to others and to ourselves. I believe this dishonesty is part of the vicious cycle. Feeding the anxiety and our disfluency. Again... I could be *way* off base. I don't know you. It's possible that none of this applies to you. Finally. Are you doing the work? I've had wildly different results with speech therapy. Going to therapy every week, but not practicing and working at it every day showed minimal results. When I got serious about my fluency, and I started doing the work every day, along with the weekly appointments to my SLP, my improvement was incredible. Best wishes!