I hear you man. I guess deep down, I am unhappy with my stutter but I do try my best. I know the ways to be fluent but in the heat of a moment, its hard to use the tools so I get into blocks. When I was younger kids would make fun but I always have a good group of friends who wouldnt make fun, they just took me for me. I can tell you things get better. I was lost after college, graduated with a 2.4 or some shit and fell into a job because of my fathers good friend. From there I told myself I would change, got Project Management certifications and built up my career. I would have never thought a stuttering kid like me could have the career I have and the best part, my colleagues value my opinion and trust me. Thats the best, they dont define me by my stutter. One comment of yours really hit home, thinking about going out to a restaurant or getting anxious about things in the future. One of my biggest fears into having kids was not being able to read them a bedtime story and not stutter or have a block. Like what would my kid think, would they laugh at me? So many things running through my head. I took speech lessons to practice my breathing because I really wanted to try for my son. It helped but I still have blocks and my son doesnt care, he loves me for me. Only a few people know how much it sucks to be in a conversation and want to contribute but are scared of a block. But again, if you have a good group of friends, they will love you for you. Concentrate on your studies, be a good boyfriend, son, friend and things will work out. I know it seems like the cards are stacked against you but I promise, you will be an amazing accomplished individual because you fought and perservered when you could have quit.