Well I'm living in a city, at school home, going to school you know, there's no privacy, there's no rest, it's just coming at you. Before it was just freedom and harmony and peace and hard work you know, it was I was really ok. I don't know if there's just stuttering, I was generally brought up in a kind of protective abusive household, that's a strong strong word. I mean there was no encouragement, or advice, I had to be a good boy and you know I am aware that's not life, I am very grateful for that but yeah... it's I don't know what to do man. Maybe I am messed up overall and I don't know how to deal with that.