let me try to explain, i don't know if this will make sense! i remember at a younger age switching the way i stuttered from a regular stutter to a block. i started blocking because i thought waiting and pausing would let the disfluency pass and i could pass as not being a stutterer. blocking is not productive communication though, it's just emptiness, and i think it's more deleterious than regular stuttering (although people have a better sense that you are stuttering if you are repeating or what not). the thing is that my blocking felt like it slowly got worse (i'm 31 now, this was a few years ago), where the blocks became more drawn out, my face became more distorted. i took a speech therapy course and even though i continued to stutter, i tried to use more light movements or not forced speech because speech is not supposed to require great sources of energy, it should be easy, and it allowed for more straight forward communication. so, for example, with the word "river" i maybe would have previously paused for several seconds and spat it out, now i say the word more like "r-r-ri-v-ver" and there is less hesitation and more feeling of what fluent speech would be like. you never know what will happen with your speech, it's a slow course to get better at communicating and communicating is separate from fluent speech. so you could be a great an eloquent speaker that still stutters. you can always check out speech therapy. and you aren't screwed for life! it's just an issue you will have to work through, but you can still do all the things that normal people do -- i'm living proof of that! ​