I really feel your pain. However, watching yourself presenting can be really helpful. It's painful at the beginning but the more you do it the easier it becomes. Don't forget that's how everyone else sees you and knows you. It's weird for us because we see ourselves from a different perspective. But that new perspective can help you to accept yourself more - I know this sounds weird but it's true. It may also boost your self confidence - at least that's what happened to me. Keep going! You are doing great! And I wish all the best to you and everyone else in Afghanistan. I can't even imagine how difficult it is to you at the moment and I hope you'll be able to find a job abroad.