You need to get help... NOW! Self harm is no joke. If your parents aren't aware, it's time to talk to them. 14 might be the absolute worst / hardest age. It won't be this hard forever. But right now, as you're reading this, I beg you to stop here and go talk to your parents. Be 100% honest and open. Hold nothing back. There's mental health resources your parents can line up for you. There's speech therapy that can help. The schools usually aren't well equipped, but there are professionals out there.