I always feel ashamed of myself when I repeat the first syllable for like 9-10 times. When it's 2-4 I can live with it and might even congratulate myself a bit. Many girls tell me that stuttering is cute and one even confessed she was dating me only because it was cool. If you think my stuttering is cute, don't tell me, because it's the thing I hate about myself the most. Overall, I'm just feeling sad about it in general, it has affected everything considering socialisation, I'm afraid to speak because people have laughed at me/repeated my stutter.