a first date next week... help. please.
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a first date next week... help. please. so hear me out. i’ve been talking to a guy i matched with on tinder for ten months. and we still haven’t met... yes i know. eek. basically, i have really bad anxiety and both times we arranged to meet, i flaked because i was vomiting due to nerves and having fully fledged panic attacks. not great... at all. but he understood and never made me feel bad. even though i look back and cringe and regret it SO much. i have a stutter by the way. and it’s really bad. however, when i’m comfortable with somebody, it hardly comes out. i think half of my really bad anxiety is to do with my stutter. he knows about it, as i briefly mentioned it a few months ago when i was going through a rough patch. and it didn’t seem to bother him in the slightest. i’ve also stuttered on the phone to him once. but nothing was ever said about it. i never really stutter when i’m on the phone to him which is super weird. i’m just so scared of blocking when i’m with him or just not being able to talk. it’s so embarrassing and it’s making me so unbelievably anxious and nervous. anyway! we lost touch for a few weeks, but ended up texting again, but this time, we’ve built a proper friendship and even talk on the phone most nights. it’s not awkward, we watch movies on the phone together and just laugh and talk about random things. ANYWAY. we’ve both confessed we have feelings for one another, and that we’ve both never felt these feelings towards somebody else before. anyway, we’ve finally planned to meet next friday. so less than a week. and i’m absolutely shitting myself. because i don’t know what to doooo. i cant cancel again, i really can not. i’m just so worried of it being awkward. and i just don’t know what to do!! like i really don’t want to sit there in silence, or just be sat there panicking. i’m also so self conscious and i feel like i’m just so disgustingly ugly in person, as appose to my instagram or facebook pictures. i do send him random pics of me on snapchat; where i admittedly look gross. but i’m just scared he’ll see me irl and think, god she looks nothing like her pictures and she’s super ugly... any advice? tips? guidance? HELPPPP. thank u! xo