postr/StutterMarch 20, 2022

What skill should I learn to switch to a more stutter-friendly job?

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Content

What skill should I learn to switch to a more stutter-friendly job? First of all, I apologize for this big blob of text, skip to the bottom for TL;DR. I work remotely in a field that heavily relies on phone talks and oral skills, and I stutter. Social anxiety and an eczema-like skin condition complete my three-headed beast that circle-feeds itself. Lately, I forced myself just to call people and to push through it, but it got worse. Before each call, I would stare at the phone for 5-10 minutes, and 5 calls later, I am drained and confused, with a headache for the rest of the day. Each day before my shift I prepare like I'm going to war, and I am really tired of mentally breaking myself without any results. It's not that I lack perseverance, I push myself out of my comfort zone all the time, it's just not for me. Sometimes I finish the sentence weirdly because it was easier for me to say it that way, and sometimes I can't even start talking for 10 seconds. Besides phone talks, my stutter also gets worse when I talk to people who don't know that I stutter, when using English(non-native), when I'm upset, and of course, with public speaking. When I read this it sounds like I'm really crippled and it angers me because I'm just a regular guy when socializing. I had my fair share of relationships, and my friends wouldn't describe me as "the stuttering guy". Anyway, my skillset is not too impressive and you could say that I'm a Jack of all trades, master of none. In chronological order: \- Dropped out of college, guess why. \- Game development - 10 years ago I learned C++ just enough to make ASCII games. I don't remember almost anything, but I could probably read and understand some simple code. I also know Construct 2(useless except for making simple games) and I am average at pixel art. I have one solid, unfinished, but playable game. \- Web development - Started with HTML, CSS, JS, ended up with Angular 2, React, Redux, MongoDB, and other tools. I had trouble refreshing my knowledge on all these without having any real experience but I could wrap my head around it. I couldn't get any chance as a Junior Dev or intern, failed 5 or 6 interviews, some of them by a hair. One company needed 2 junior devs, and I was one of 40 applicants. Went successfully through the first two circles, just to finish third out of the last three candidates. I don't remember almost anything but I guess I have a general understanding of how it works. \- Logistics industry - I was just starting to hate web development when one of my friends introduced me to a guy who had a brokerage company based in the USA. Before I knew it I was a freight broker in a world of con men, lies, and the worst of all - phone calls. I embraced it as my last chance and in the previous two and a half years I took 4 days off and went on 0 dates and vacations but I think that this adventure is coming to an end. Texting and emailing people doesn't really work, and I currently work on a percentage, meaning I can earn peanuts. Besides, no one wants a freight broker who can't talk to people. That's it. I recently started a science blog as I like to write either that or sci-fi, but nothing serious. It's a saturated niche and I can't compete with large, well-known sites. So, as you can see, the majority of my life was just a sequence of bad decisions and failures. Good attempts, but failures nonetheless. And it hurts because everyone predicted a bright future for me, I won awards in school without even trying, and now, almost 31 year old me has nothing to show for and no more time. Is there something I could work remotely that requires a skill that can be learned in a relatively short amount of time? Remote job because I live in an underdeveloped country without many opportunities. Learning won't be a problem, I'm experienced with Udemy tutorials. Maybe a language, or some tool? I thought about translating, but there is not a lot of jobs on LinkedIn that include my native language and I don't know if they would hire someone without experience. If I can, I would like to avoid web development. I don't think I have time to go down that path again. Thank you for reading this. I loathe myself for having to write it. \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ **TL;DR**: I(31) work in an industry that relies on phone calls and my stutter prevents me to be good at my job. What skill can I learn in a relatively short amount of time that can land me a remote job better suited for me?

Themes

School & WorkAnticipation & AvoidanceEmotional ExperienceSocial & RelationshipsCauses & Variability

Subthemes

Employment & CareerAvoidance & SubstitutionAnxiety & Social JudgmentQuality of LifePropositionality & Weight