What is your motivation for job interviews? ( my life story)

What is your motivation for job interviews? ( my life story) I 23M live in Pakistan , I know most of you are westerners so I know different living conditions but we stutter the same :) So I picked electrical engineering for my bachelors from a reputed university of my city, as suspected my experience was horrible because you know stutter, always in fear that teacher could point you anytime and ask a question and the reply would be " I don't know" even if you knew the answer.Vivas were a nightmare for me, this one time teacher asked a question what Is a transformer? Which is like a tenth grade question. And I was like " A tar tar tran tran" couldn't even complete one single sentence. These experiences left such a sour taste that when the time came for my graduation and everybody was applying for interviews, my thought process was what is even the point of applying because I can't even reply properly even if I knew the answer, I received 3-4 interview calls from companies because the university provides CVs of students but I didn't even bothered to go to these companies and at least make an attempt, this was in October 2023. Now fast forward November 2024 , I am still where I was a year ago , but I did give an interview for the first time in my life this week, and obviously they didn't even seem 1 percent interested. Now ,not only I have a stutter but also a 1 year gap right after graduation, I know managed to fuck up an already fucked up situation. Only positive side is I started an online gig while I was in my university to bear my expenses which did manage to cover it all. Since then I did manage to scale the work up a bit and have almost 3500$ in savings which is a good amount, for context fresh graduates in my field can earn 2000-2500$ in a year, from high end companies they can earn around 4000$ per year. But of course when they have the relevant experience they can apply for higher roles and can earn more. The work I am doing is totally unrelated to my field and the growth is almost zero, never intended to make this full time but it was easy money and I just shut my eyes to ease my suffering. Now I am trying to better myself like mentioned before I gave an interview for the first time, but the problems are still there and have increased. I just don't have the motivation to even apply for interviews, because back of my mind is just that why would they bother hiring me who can't even communicate properly? On the other hand I see my peers, some are now in good positions because they have already gained experience, some have decided to continue their master studies abroad and will try to settle there , because the pay is shit here ,country is going downhill fast in terms of quality of life ( inflation, crime rate, is a fascist state just not on paper) and every occupation is underpaid except for those who can excel which is like maybe 1% of population. The most easy way is to do remote work or freelance ( working for international clients/companies) and if you can earn even 1000-1500$ a month you can live a comfortable life in terms of money with a family of 4 or 5. My mind is all over the place right now should I learn a skill like programming, or learn to use software like autocad, and if I can manage to learn it enough I can do freelancing or remote work. Or should I try to pursue a masters degree abroad ? my parents will fund me, for context you need around 15000$ to start your masters in a country like Germany. Other countries are even more expensive, but back of my mind there is always questions like I can't speak my local language without stutter how can I speak a different language because the stutter will be at a whole new level. Currently, I have decided to actively apply for interviews let bygones be bygones and maybe if by chance I can land an entry level job related to my field and work my way up from there. But there is no proper motivation for me to apply because I just can't escape this mentality . And on top of that I am unable to decide what to do? Sometimes I would just say fuck interviews maybe I should try something like opening a small business or sth. I just don't know what to do