How I felt/feel

How I felt/feel I told my my ex girlfriend when we were still together that I was going to cut off my tongue semi jokingly.and she started to ball her eyes out and said don’t because then you couldn’t say you love me. A few months later she broke up with me I know it had too do with my stuttering who could truly love someone with a stutter she could date any guy that’s normal ( she is ) I hate going out in public and having too talk like ordering food, social gatherings. People just look at me like I’m retarded and I’m not. My number one wish is too not stutter I know I could of had a worse disability. Stuttering stops me from doing every day things. I just wish it could stop.