I'm so sorry you (and the lot of us) have to go through this. It feels quite unfair when others can talk anything and everything they like without breaking a sweat. I can definitely feel you there. The best advice I can give you here is to just stop thinking about it all the time. It only keeps you in a never ending cycle of anxiety and stutter and doesn't do you any good. Get involved in some activities to keep yourself distracted. However if you start thinking and feel anxious about the stutter, spend some time reading aloud to yourself. It has definitely worked for me.