Respectfully, I disagree entirely with your assessment of what the problem is. There are always excuses to be made. Always. And I know because I made them all myself, too. You are saying things like, ''it's all bullshit'' with respect to not letting your stuttter beat you. Your whole post is a rant about how ''fucked'' you are. The problem is not the small house. It's not your family. It's not your edgy content. It's you. The challenge you have is: how do you develop a different attitude while in the same environment that you've been in for so long? It could be getting a job or two, saving money, and moving out. My sense is that you absolutely need to start taking responsibility for yourself and your situation. If you want to make YouTube content professionally but you're not sufficiently bankrolled to do so yet (I.e., you're living with your family, maybe rent free, etc.), than you have more immediate priorities to focus on, imo. Your speech and your independence. It could be going to a park, a library, or wherever to start bucking down and improving your speech first. It could be picking up jobs and saving money. It could be a lot of things. What is 100% guaranteed not to be useful for advancing your career and life is lamenting about how difficult things are and how everything is to blame. You didn't post this on a YouTube content creator subreddit. You posted it in a stuttering subreddit. So I don't buy for a second that improving your speech is not part of the solution that you know you need to do. Your story is not unique - many of us have had to walk this path. So I'm not telling you shit that I haven't personally experienced. The challenge is that you may not read these words the right way, they may not impact you because I can't write well enough, and you may waste more precious time in a bad headspace without taking action to improve your life. I spent a long time in that space, and I hope you work your way out of it faster than I did.