Suicidal thoughts because of my stutter

Suicidal thoughts because of my stutter I’m a stutter since I was 9 years old. I’ve been through a lot with my speech disability. I had phases where I felt okay with my stutter. Did presentations and stuttered too much, and yet I felt on the top of the world. I also would take long to make an order or book an appointment, it didn’t feel as bad. However, I also have other phases where it’s the complete opposite to the point where I’d really consider suicide and even plan on it. I sometimes feel silly that I think that because of a stutter but nobody knows how hard it’s for most of us! It affects everything in my life. During those difficult phases, talking gets harder than usual. I hate going out, showing up.. I feel like I cannot do it anymore and it’s for real this time. The more I grow up, it gets harder.. I know I’m not a weak person and I’ve survived worst! Please help me.