I am not an expert, but I am a stammerer myself. I seems that just like every stammer is different, every individual with a stammer will think of it differently. Oftentimes, when a stammer is retained into adulthood, it is such a natural part of life that what might be normal to her might seem unusual to you. The restaurant is a good example, she might be so used to filling a tiny roll in communicating with the employees that when you feel like you are doing all that talking, it does not feel unusual to her. My friend used to speak on my behalf all the time. She would end up worrying that she was somehow enabling me to hide the problems my speech created for me. There might be something to this; I know that had I never been thrown into unavoidable speech situations I would never have gotten anywhere and that whenever I start to close into myself again, my speech deteriorates considerably. That is not to say that being forced into situations like that is at all the way to go. It is worth remembering that it is probably so woven into her day to day anyway. There is no quick fix. You might be a way for her to connect with the world without all the internal groaning that would normally come. Although her stammer might be something she wants to work on, think of it as an annoying hobby. It's tricky but try to get used to thinking of it as a long, niggly and annoying project. A restaurant visit is a great chance to work on speech, but not everything needs to be an exercise. Developing your own speech is notoriously tiring work and will not work if the chances for practice are filled with apprehension and stress. Try to keep conversations about her speech free and open so that whenever she thinks of taking another step, you can take it with her. I can understand the worry that she won't get better if nothing changes but that is all up to her (of course with your support and input). Her speech right now isn't necessarily a fault, its just her now. Don't worry about taking all of it on to your own shoulders, just be an ear to listen, an escape tricky speech situations. It might seem like a big deal now but eventually it will all just fall away into a normal part of your lives whether she chooses to work on it or not. ​ Sorry this is so long, let me know if anything doesn't make sense or if I need to explain it differently. If you have any follow up questions I will do my best! Good luck