17M turning 18, thoughts of impending doom.

17M turning 18, thoughts of impending doom. Its all over, when you're poor and you stutter your options are limited by a large amount. If my mother took me to speech therapy when I was younger I could've had a chance of becoming rich but no, not only did she get with a broke man though she's poor herself she never even gave me the chance at becoming successful due to my stutter. waking up everyday feels like shit knowing you have no options in life, my grades are shit due to my mental health and that all retracts back to my stutter, I have to repeat a year, I couldn't complete the lifeguard screening so now I can't get a job, I tried to apply for other jobs but I need a diploma. if only I didn't stutter things would be better. Im gonna lose my mind sooner or later and I won't inflict the pain on myself, I don't deserve this. This isn't a vent, this is me organizing my thoughts so things can make sense. I will probably get banned due to my history with reddit so if you see this post good luck reading this