OP, I feel your pain as being a stutterer as well. This year I will be 48 and been having a severe and debilitating stammer my entire life. I remember when I was in primary school when our instructor would have one of us read outloud to the entire classroom a section of the reading material. I hated that. Other times my instructor will start with one student reading one paragraph, then the next student reading the next paragraph and so on. I would count the number of paragraphs ahead until the paragraph I would have to read outloud to the entire class. I would then rehearse speaking out loud in my mind hope to when it came my time to read my assigned paragraph out loud to the entire classroom of pupil's that I would not block. 99.99% of the time I would block so intensively I end up getting totally pissed off and completely frustrated. OP, I hope as you continue to grow older that your level of stuttering will diminish to a point to where it does not impact your life at the levels it does today. Me personality OP, my stuttering has absolutely destroyed my life. Please do not take the experiences I am having with my stuttering and think that Because this is what David is experiencing with his stuttering journey that it is going to be the same with you OP. OP, have you heard of the National Stuttering Association (NSA) (https://www.westutter.org)? The National Stuttering Association has local support chapters located all over the United States. They are free to attend, a great way to meet other stutterers, and a awesome support group. OP, here is the direct link to the NSA's Chapter's page of their website: https://www.westutter.org/chapters OP I would strongly suggest you seek out a chapter near you. If you reside outside of the United States, you can still join in. Some Chapter's meet virtually by Zoom or Google Chat video. Good Luck OP! Come back here again if you want to vent, and need support. Happy New Year. :-) David