Man I get how you are feeling, I used to stutter and make up alternative words to control my stutter, I prayed for months to get cured but my advice is to just be yourself, you will have this moment a lot until you reach a certain level of anger or sadness that something will change about how you see your stutter , my advice is to just be yourself and I’m not saying just stutter , I mean be yourself talk whatever you feel, speak your mind , have a conversation with your siblings about it , that’s what I did to improve my speech . Remember you can change in 1 day I promise , you have to turn the stuttering switch off and focus on speaking your mind not how the words will come out , life is full of challenges just god choose me and you to have this issue to over come , never give up , if you really want the best advice , go out with your friends often it will help it 110%