Well, for the first part, you write this: >the first thought that pops to my mind, aside from completing my sentence, is how not to loose my friend's attention You'd have to stop worrying about that sort of thing. You should simply focus on what you want to say, and if the other person cares to hear it, great, but if not, that's their loss. It's not something you can really change anyway, and adding further struggle to your already complicated situation isn't necessary. As for the other part, these people around you, perhaps some of them could be better informed. Maybe they don't understand your situation, maybe they don't know your preferences, maybe nobody ever thought that they could perhaps behave any differently towards you. This one's tricky, since you can't really expect anything to change. But you might give it a shot.