Content
I can’t take it anymore I have a severe stutter and I am becoming 99% nonverbal because of panic and severe anxiety. I know at this point it’s not the stuttering itself; it’s the trauma building up every day from being embarrassed and humiliated constantly in front of strangers. My severe stutter has led me to where I am today: a 31-year-old working 12 hours a day as a delivery driver, carrying heavy boxes of groceries and developing back pain, chronic anxiety, and stress. I have no time for friends or hobbies as I am working in slavery-like conditions in one of the most expensive cities in the world. I applied for hundreds of jobs, but when I get a call back, I can’t say hello, so they discard my application. When I started mentioning my stutter in the application, I never got a call back again. When my friends in high school were applying for colleges, I was on heavy antidepressants, and my grades couldn’t get me anywhere, so I didn’t go to college. I tried to upskill and learned to code, but now with inflation and the housing crisis, it has become so overwhelming. I am only left with 2 hours of rest before I go to bed and wake up at 6 AM to repeat the same cycle. I’ve read countless self-help books because I can’t afford professional help, and I tried speech therapy, but it didn’t work. I am not suicidal, just wanted to rant. I accepted my stuttering a long time ago, but I am just tired of how limiting and isolating it is. I am constantly embarrassed and sometimes laughed at, and perceived as mentally challenged or a druggie.