Outside of slapping my thigh, this is...pretty accurate to my situation. I understand u/_inaccessiblerail means good, but not all problems can be summed up to "you need to get out of your shell" or "you need to change your view on life". Sometimes a problem can't be bridged, it can't be solved by being positive. I don't have a way of proving to you that I don't self sabotage. I don't feel like I'm shutting people out, they just vanish out of their own volition. I don't think they are bad people, as I've said, I'd done the same if the roles were reversed. I'm no better.