I feel you, when i was in school my stutter got so bad that when we had oral test, i would drink or smoke in hope to be more relaxed, I also started smoking for it. ( All of this didn't work so dont even think about doing it). Looking back to it I recognised that it wasnt the right thing to do, but for me was brutal knowing exately what I needed to say but my body didnt alow me to. I feel very fortunate that my family understand how much i strugle speeking, and give me the time i need to speek, but this isn't always tru in the real world.