Hey bro. I guess a lot of people felt connected to a lot of things you said in your post. I'm about your age and when I read that you shared this to another person for the first time just a couple of months ago I had to think back to when I first REALLY talked about stuttering. It took me until I was 31 and I needed a bit of a kick in the ass. What I did then really changed my entire psychology on my stutter: I went to get professional help from a psychiatrist. If you have the insurance (I guess you live in the US?) give it a try. I should have done that years earlier, it was one of the best decisions of my life. I used to feel so much shame and bitterness before - it's just not worth it. My stutter hasn't got a lot better, but my attitude toward it has changed big time. Give it a try if you can <3