I am an ex-Christian but in the Bible I remember the part where Jesus asked the same question. "why have you forsaken me?" he asked on the cross. Excruciating pain. Abandoned. No hope in sight. So you're not alone in feeling like God being unresponsive. Jesus felt that too. No one can tell you what God intends for you. You have to discover it yourself. Anyway maybe pray instead for something like "let me be surrounded by good people." Praying for fixing you for years cannot be good for your mental health.