It feels like nobody actually knows me
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It feels like nobody actually knows me I have stuttered since i remember and i have most of my life adapted my life to my stuttering. To as simply as going to the store and buying something to skipping out important life moments because it involves talking. Recently i've come to a realization that most of my peers dont know alot about me even though i've spent a long time with them (including family). Due to my stutter i always change words and sentences as to make it easier for me to say what i want to say but the end result is always i say something that is similar but not exactly as intended. It makes people have a different view of me that is incorrect and it shows as they guess the things i like and its almost completely wrong (and i don't blame them). It's been like this my whole life and at some point in my life i have stopped caring what others think of me and i feel like theres only one or two people who knows me good enough. I have a good job and a nice family but i am alone. It's funny how i think about the amount of talking i will do before anything else if i plan to do something. Most people think about things that one should be worried about (eg. in university its about grades, studying etc.) but for me its 99% whether i will talk or not. My biggest issue has always been the feeling of stuttering. I have no problem socialising however whenever i stutter i feel really uncomfortable. To the point where it rivals the feeling of deep anxiety.