postr/StutterOctober 23, 2024

Help or advice?? stutter came back suddenly but only at work

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Help or advice?? stutter came back suddenly but only at work Hi so backstory first and most likely long ass word vomit incoming :’) I have been a stutterer since 3 years old, was in speech therapy from 5 years old until high school and was able to be *almost* completely fluent when speaking when I entered my late teens. Enter into my 20’s, I would still stutter occasionally, when upset or stressed out or nervous, but ultimately had come to the conclusion I had overcome my stutter and could speak without any blocks outside of my occasional triggers. I’m 28F now and have not had any major or concerning issues with stuttering for nearly a decade. Well, until a few months ago when my job (that I really really do enjoy) became a short-staffed, increased work load, increased stress, literal dumpster fire almost every day. I work in insurance for a SF agent, so as far as job stress goes IYKYK. My issue now that has come out of no where, is when I answer the phone with our greeting script or speak a ‘word track’ to a customer I stutter EVERY TIME. LIKE LITERALLY EVERY TIME. For example: I have to answer our customer call ins and am expected to use the same greeting each time which is “thank you for calling [agent’s 1st name] Hutton State Farm, this is [my name]” And now, I CANNOT for the life of me say Hutton. I get stuck on the H and then get blocked and then force it out so it sounds like H-H-Huh-Huh-HuTTON. Also, just to note, any other time I say the agents full name out loud in a different context such as saying our email ‘such and such at blank Hutton.com’ I can say Hutton with no issue. I really do not understand what glitch has happened in my brain to subconsciously prevent me from being able to speak it without issue on the initially phone greeting. And honestly, it’s so embarrassing like I am genuinely ashamed that I can’t even answer the phone with my work greeting that I had absolutely no issue with until shit hit the fan stress-wise at work. I’ve also started stumbling, stammering, anticipating stuttering so switching scary words out for a different safe word while speaking to customers about things that I generally say the same way every time like a script. This I am pretty used to bc my brain works faster than my mouth speaks so I often jumble up words and being able to switch out words has always been an “easy out” to avoid or hide my stutter. However, I can’t change my agents last name and switch it for something else and I have started dreading answering any phone call and immediately feel ashamed and embarrassed when I ultimately stutter. My point of posting this is really for advise on my situation, if anyone has gone through something similar, or if anyone can help provide tips or tricks you use when you know you are going to stutter on a word to help get through it, or anything I could work on or practice. When I was younger my biggest struggles were with getting out vowel sounds and getting out words that did not start with a hard consonant, like H’s W’s M’s etc. It’s been so long since I was in speech therapy I really don’t remember the techniques I was taught so if anyone has like anything at all they think could potentially help it’s SO appreciated bc this has truly started to affect my confidence as a professional and mental health as an already struggling adult

Themes

Anticipation & AvoidanceCauses & VariabilityEmotional ExperienceSpeech & Stuttering

Subthemes

Feared Words & NamesAvoidance & SubstitutionStress & Fight/FlightAnxiety & Social JudgmentBlocks & Stoppages

Codes (3)

ordering_service_encounteremotional_statetime_pressure