commentr/StutterJanuary 20, 2025

Content

No, I have a therapist, but I've never really talked about it with anyone because I've tended to minimize its importance to myself since it's so specific and doesn't actually cause communication issues. I have been thinking about bringing it up, though. I don't have any trauma to speak of, so I don't know why it started. I think it is just a new OCD symptom manifested, but it has gotten progressively worse. I think the thing that often catches me is when (to my mind) I haven't enunciated clearly enough. But, in reality, this tends to result in deliberate over-enunciation, with extremely sharp consonants. And if I stumble, I have to restart, which may be how it is for normal stuttering, I don't know. But until I get it right, there's a feeling of tightness, almost like I'm holding my breath. I know it's my brain sending faulty messages to my body, but the nature of OCD is that it's hard to ignore until you "scratch the itch." It wouldn't be more than a minor nuisance except as I said it's gotten worse over time, so for example I might read a senrence, or even think one, and have to repeat ad nauseum for a couple of minutes. But strangely, just like when speaking with others, it doesn't manifest much when I'm typing to you right now (there is a bit of that feeling of tightness, but I'm typing quickly enough to resist it). So it really is the opposite of normal; when I'm focusing on communicating with others, I'm not in my head about it and can converse normally. I promise you, though, you would not want OCD. I'm sure stuttering when communicating with others can be severely debilitating; I've encountered stutterers before (I suppose I don't fully think of myself as one), and I always do my best to be patient with them, but I can see how difficult it can be for them. But OCD affects you all the time in ways you would never imagine. I suppose stuttering could too.

Themes

Anticipation & AvoidanceCauses & VariabilityIdentity & DisabilitySpeech & Stuttering

Subthemes

Overthinking & MonitoringTrauma & PsychologicalIdentity & Self-PerceptionPhysical TensionBlocks & StoppagesAvoidance & Substitution