This is the right attitude to have. I felt similar thoughts as a teen. I'm now 42, a father to a college kid, and there was a time in my life I didn't think I'd be here. I know it is uncomfortable but don't let it define you like u/Gullible-Relief4958 says. It is not who YOU are...it's just something we deal with. Live a normal life and think positive thoughts, my friend.