What do you think this group is for? People want to talk about things with other people who understand, whether it's asking for or giving advice, or expressing frustration. We've all had trouble expressing ourselves in various ways. I don't think it helps to insult someone for expressing their frustration in a support group for people who experience similar things. You're right that people do have preferences, and learning to be more resilient is worthwhile, but that doesn't mean someone who isn't there yet and wants to vent frustration is pathetic. Would you say that if you were talking to her in person?