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vent you know when one of the things you love most is taken away from you? yeah... that's unfortunately what my stutter as done to me. i love debate so fucking much (no, not just aruging with random strangers on the internet - but instead the competitive activity). it's fulfilled my life sm for the past few years, until recently. also, i j love competitive academic activities in general (model un, deca, fbla) but god damn my stutter just has to ruin it like always - its basically impossible to succeed in such activities with a severe stutter, and i dont need to be gaslighted into thinking otherwise (its j the harsh reality i gotta deal w). also in activities where i thought my stutter wouldn't impact me like volleyball - oh guess what! turns out it actually does.. unfortunately, to do well at the high school and college level, speaking fast is necessary (like 300wpm BARE MINIMUM for high school) and my stutter prevents me from doing that. even then, i can barely speak 150 words per minute in a round and at the middle school level when speaking fast isnt needed to do well, its still a huge disadvantage and struggle. do i seem dramatic? probably, but basically bc of my stutter i can't do these activities i love and specifically about debate -- without doing debate yourself, it's hard to understand how much this activity means to certain people. to just preface, i spend at least 10 hours every single week on debate (and even more when i was competing nearly every other weekend) considering how expensive debate is and how it will j get more expensive as time goes on, not doing well is not an option atp - so i may have to quit. this is the definition of money cant buy you happiness. also staying in this activity in high school will likely make me even more miserable tbh bc ill always be reminded about how im so limited and be so stressed out during camps and classes also, just outside of debate - i still can't live a normal life. people are ALWAYS judging me and its like sm harder to make friends. the embarrassment i feel when ever i stutter really badly is miserable. on some nights, i will literally start crying over this type of stuff - basically feeling extremely sad and devastated. one day, i hope there is a definite cure. i wouldn't wish this experience on anyone. some maybe useful context: i am currently a 8th grade female entering hs next year and yes i have tried speech therapy before multiple times. and if you don't have a stutter and ur reading this by chance: cherish your life, i would do so much to be able to live like my peers without a stutter :)