I'm sorry you feel that way my friend. I've grown up with a severe stutter in an household that had to deal with a lot of other problems, so I had to deal with it my own way. The feelings your expressing today is exactly how I felt for a long time. You're spot on when you say that people aren't event doing it to be mean, it's just makes them uncomfortable. When people do that they are actually reacting to how they feel in the moment, not to your actual speech. That is why people will react differently depending on who they are and the context. Keep in mind that your speech is actually forcing people to deal with a part of themselves theyre not used to have to face. The more mature and emotionally stable your interlocutor will be, the eaiser it will be for them to talk with you. When you speak with someone and you can feel that they are uncomfortable and want to move on, the best thing to do is to allow them to do so without judgement. I know this is hard because from your side it feels like you're the reason they are uncomfortable, but you're not. You're just creating a situation where they have to deal with their own shortcomings and that is difficult for people. Always try to remain in the spirit of compassion for them, even though their behavior might hurt you in the moment. What matters most is that you stay away from hatred towards people or towards yourself. That will spiral you down on a path that is very hard to come back from, though you seem smart enough to understand that already. God bless my friend and always remember they are people here always willing to listen to you, you are not alone!