Talk to someone. Parents, siblings or friends. For suicide in general here is a link for a text based hotline: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/ To discuss stuttering and those negative feelings relating to it, find a stuttering support group in your area. If in the U.S. the National Suttering Association is a great resource and has chapter all over the country. www.westutter.org. If international check out the International Stuttering Association: http://www.isastutter.org/who-we-are/member-associations Also there is a superb video chat support group that meets a few times a week. Very eclectic and suportive bunch: https://stuttersocial.com You can also come chat and vent with the r/stutter discord. We have a very diverse community there. https://discord.gg/s6knWrw