It sucks big time, I have also been severely held back in my career and life in general by my stutter and I am very hard on myself but just the other day I realised I’m being unreasonable, I have zero support from my family(they are narcissists and couldn't care less how I struggle) and not being able to speak freely when required is a huge weight to carry, I need to be less hard on myself. And also to realise that some things are more important than others and learning to accept myself and find good people to be around is more important than anything else. I don't know if I’m really answering your question but I can appreciate your deep frustration and being totally bewildered at how you should be coping with life with a bad stutter.