All of the above, my friend. I'd wake up everyday hoping that this would be a day when I stuttered less (I have 'good' and 'bad' stuttering days). I'd be anxious about presentations/interviews weeks ahead. I'd avoid all conversations with strangers.... I'd kick myself if I stuttered with my [friends/family](https://friends.family) and reimagine those conversations is my head over and over. Also, I practically steered my career where I didn't have to speak very much. Now thinking back, I see that was a stupid thing to do. I realize now that I should've 'let' myself stutter, and not try to be 'perfect'. I was super-confident, was doing great in school, was socially active and on-track to achieve whatever I fuckin wanted to achieve. Then I lost control because I got this idea in my head that my stutter is 'bad'.