I remember reading about this one blind stutterer when asked which disability was worse, he said stuttering because of the stigma and shame around it. I think the minimizing like you say is quite invalidating. When it comes to comparing it to something that’s a tough one. I tell people it’s something you have to experience to understand. The worst part of stuttering for me is how inconsistent it is. It’s like having a broken foot and coming to terms with having to wear a cast and use crutches. But then all of a sudden your other foot breaks too. Now you have to readjust and have to use a wheelchair. And then all of a sudden your whole body is paralyzed and you can’t do anything. At that point you’re kind of hopeless until all of a sudden you’re completely pain free and healthy and proceed to jump and walk around with exhilaration. And this cycle never ends. And throughout this entire cycle instead of feeling empathetic you feel ashamed and guilty. Another parallel I use to try to explain the shame is like having a tic where whenever you’re in public you take off your shirt and the more embarrassing the situation the more likely your tic will happen. So with your friend you might not take off your shirt even though you might not mind it too much but in an interview or in a big conference where you do. And when you do everyone is like “lol what the hell?” instead of being empathetic