Content
I just want some friends.. I feel so terribly alone. Little things make me cry and I am terrified of the future. I try so hard to be engaging and funny, but as much as people may like me on the surface, the relationships never go deeper. The one person who actually hangs out with me is only using me and it's obvious. I really don't know what is wrong with me. I don't see it. I must be awful but I can't figure out what behaviors need to change. I overheard my parents talking a couple of weeks ago and my mom said that they can't blame God for my issues because they are the ones who raised me. I know that without knowing me, you can't give me specific advice, but I guess it would just be nice to vent to someone who understands. I know my stutter plays a role, but I can't blame it completely anymore. Maybe I just never learned good social skills because of it? All I know is that I am getting older and I am scared. I am scared I won't be able to get a good paying job to take care of myself. I'm scared I won't be able to find a good partner or have kids. I'm scared I will always be completely alone. I'm barely holding on at this point.