"But the way you’re expressing that frustration, the visible impatience, the asking him to repeat himself multiple times, the fact that you’re letting your facial expressions betray your frustration. It’s all just hurtful. The way you’re describing yourself shows that you’re making him feel like a burden, like a problem to be endured rather than someone to be supported. That’s not love. It’s not empathy. And it’s certainly not kindness." If I had any idea that my facial expressions were showing anything of the sort I would have worked on this a lot longer ago. I do not want him to be hurt. He does have needs and they deserve to be met and I would like very much to meet them. I just don't know what modifications or type of support might be helpful to my approach to improve the situation. He is not a burden. His speech is difficult and my own issues are deeply at play with comprehension, but we are both trying. Apparently I have social pragmatic communication disorder, which frankly I don't fully understand but it seems to mean I miss a lot of social cues and don't always respond delicately. I've been out here causally offending and insulting people this whole time and never realized people were getting hurt... That's probably why I didn't realize my reaction was on my face and is why I'm asking for concrete advice on behavior change that is actually, well, showing the support while still recognizing limitations. I get the frustration is something for me to work on and it is mortifying that he could see it this whole time. It's a problem that I wasn't made aware of until today and I'm dealing with it as fast as I can. So yes, you could say I am actively taking a whole bunch of steps to change how I approach comminication. I honestly have no idea what to do when he is trying to talk and I cannot hear him so he tries again and I still cannot hear him. We are both exasperated by the end of it. I want to listen and if what I am doing is not the right thing to do I can work on that one, too, but really any suggestions on what to do instead would be super appreciated.  The inability to remember what he says by the end of a sentence isn't working out and I can't just try harder on that one. I can try different. I can try so many new ways, but trying harder isn't really going to change it. I'm willing to do whatever it is to make sure I'm understanding him, but we are both equally frustrated at this cycle and we both think his stutter gets hard sometimes. We both also think my attention issues are hard sometimes. We both put in similar levels of effort to work with the other person. Like he has also expressed significant frustration at both his stuttering and my ADHD himself and acknowledges the impact it has openly so I'm not exactly sure why it is an issue to acknowledge them here. I can recognize I'm probably missing something and am probably being considered hurtful after your response, though. We have tried: - Having serious conversations scheduled for times where we are well rested and not stressed. - Speech therapy (he is done, I am starting) - Occupational therapy (both of us will start for both of our ADHD related executive functioning and sensory issues) - Talking slower (at his request, he likes this one) - Written communication for daily chat, scheduling, life admin, and if either of us is struggling too hard for whatever reason. - Intentionally choosing quiet places for conversations  - Using simple and concrete language instead of flowery expressions at his request - Not interrupting him or finishing his sentences - Asking clarifying questions at the end of his sentences to make sure I got it right - Giving more pauses before I respond to slow down the flow of the conversation  - Creating a shared list of conversation topics and info for our weekly relationship checkin so it is a mix of verbal and written - Literally sitting on my hands to not fidget when he is pausing during his speech so he doesn't think he is annoying. I just fidget, but know this one can hurt him. - Embracing asynchronous communication if he needs the time to formulate his thoughts and doesn't feel up to having an emotional conversation while pushing through his stutter. So while I'm abrasive and apparently really socially dense, I also do love this man and am attempting in good faith to find more tricks on how to improve. I do not lack empathy for this man. Patience, maybe, but I'm attempting to work around that and adapt because I know it is negatively impacting us.